My college career began on a rocky foot, resulting in a transfer of universities because I had realized I had chosen the wrong college for all of the wrong reasons. I somehow had to muster up the courage to take a different path from my friends, dismiss thoughts of what my parents might think, and make the choice that was best for me, something I should have done in the beginning. I made the decision to move back home and attend the local university, My first choice before I began thinking about what everyone else in my life expected or wanted for me. Despite this seemingly bold move, self-doubt creeped in and my insecurities took over. Although, I felt that I had made the right decision I was still unsure that I could make these integral decisions for myself even though I was technically considered an adult now. Due to this I soon fell into my old patterns, doing the things I thought I “should” do rather than the things I deeply wanted to do. I was now where I wanted to be, but I still did not understand why I was on the verge of feeling the same way I did before. I was desperate for a change as I was realizing I may slip back into my feelings of dread if I did not find a way to fix this.
Now in my second year of college, I began doing some research and attending therapy in order to identify and understand the emotions I was feeling. I realized I had to start setting better goals for myself and doing more of what makes me happy if I was to ever become a successful and emotionally intelligent adult. With this in mind, I began reconnecting to my dreams and the things that used to make me excited about life, the things that gave me hope, and inspired me. First it was traveling, then more specifically, it became New York City. I was one of those many people who have always dreamed of New York City, but for me it was always a dream that seemed out of reach. Now, looking back, that seems pretty silly considering the two-hour plane ride but now I was determined to find a way. The advice I was following came from a personal development blogger who suggested that the best way to set a goal was to name a goal you never thought you could accomplish and take steps to work towards it, in other words “Dream Big”. This exercise was a way to build confidence as you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish. I did exactly what she said, and this changed my life in ways I will never forget.
I read hundreds of articles on New York and cheap ways to travel, my Pinterest board is proof. I found a cheap airline ticket, the friend I was visiting with had a relative who lived in the city that covered accommodation, and I had saved as much money as I possibly could. I had no intention of sparing any expense on my first trip to anywhere, let alone New York City. This was the first time in a long time that I could tell you I was truly excited, like a kid who was told they were going to Disney World in a few months. The anticipation grew and when we finally glided up those Penn Station escalator stairs into the heart of the city the feeling was magical, surreal but it was real. I just couldn’t believe it. Needless to say, I had the most wonderful time of my life.
The point of this story is to give you some insight into what led up to one of the single most life changing moments in my life, this along with transferring universities. I had made it happen, I made it to New York City. This was the confidence, the bravery, I had been lacking my entire life. The reason why I made the wrong choice of universities was because I was scared. Scared of what people thought, scared of failure, scared of success all the things that keep you in your comfort zone all the things that prevent you from growing as an individual. Since then I have never set a small achievable goal ever again. Everything I thought I couldn’t do I challenged myself to do it.
This mindset of setting extraordinary goals has also lead me to studying abroad, interning at London and Paris Fashion Weeks, gave me the courage to launch my travel and lifestyle blog, and ultimately taught me to be brave encouraging me to apply your graduate program. This is not to say that I did not continue to have my struggles with depression and anxiety. This struggle which negatively affected my performance in my classes contributing to my first experience of failure while studying abroad. However, this is also not to say that I am not extremely grateful for these moments as well. The valleys had just as much lessons as the peaks and the ups and downs tell a story of perseverance that has shaped the person I am today.
As a high school student, I would have given anything to attend a University in New York City but did not think I could do it. I thought about out of state tuition, would I even get in, and of course what would my parents think. Now I can understand that none of this matter, all the questions will get answered as long as I believe in myself. If I am applying to your university I am applying not because I think getting in is achievable, I am applying because there is some uncertainty, but I have decided to challenge this uncertainty, face my fears and try any way. I always say, “clichés are clichés for a reason”, because you really do miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take and what happens if you make the shot? Well I’ve learned that it could be something truly amazing.